SNL Cold Open turns Trump’s 100 days into a bizarre executive order bonanza

President Donald Trump has officially crossed the 100-day mark in office for his second term — an occasion that feels less like a milestone and more like a never-ending fever dream. To honor the moment, Saturday Night Live kicked things off with a Cold Open featuring James Austin Johnson’s pitch-perfect (and deeply weird) impression of the president.

Much like FDR, but in exactly one, extremely specific way, Trump has a deep affection for signing executive orders. Sure, legally and constitutionally, some of Trump's executive orders have been little more than glorified press releases (like that time Trump made everyone female), but SNL Trump’s executive orders veer into absurdist fun.

Among the highlights from the Cold Open is an order reinstating Columbus Day — something that real Trump plans to do, even though it's already a federally recognized holiday.

Another, dubbed the "Belichick Law," makes it socially acceptable for men over 70 to date women barely out of college. Then there’s the one demanding fewer interracial couples in TV commercials, and another aimed at making the New York Times Connections game easier (honestly, we get it, Mr. President).

Oh, and one executive order bans Hispanic babies from getting their ears pierced. Trump, of course, blames that one on Marco Rubio.

There are a few more gems in the sketch we won’t spoil — but what makes the satire hit differently is the gnawing feeling that, yeah… he might actually try some of this. And that’s the part that’s not so funny.