The Day My Imposter Syndrome Was No Longer Just in My Head

I recently came across an article suggesting that Imposter Syndrome Has Its Advantages. It made me reflect on my own experiences, especially the fear of inadequacy I felt at the beginning of my software engineering career.

The article, featuring insights from Basima A. Tewfik, an assistant professor at MIT Sloan, argued that imposter syndrome can actually improve interpersonal skills. By making individuals more people-oriented and sensitive to others' perceptions, it enhances likability and positively impacts career growth. Interestingly, the study also found that imposter syndrome does not negatively affect performance.

Surprise! You’re a Roku Developer Now

After several years of leading and managing a network operations centar, I decided to switch careers and venture into software engineering.
During my learning period, I was lucky enough to get hired as a junior Android developer. I was really excited about the opportunity but I was also aware of the amount of knowledge I was lacking.
Two weeks before starting my first day in the new position, I received unexpected news: I would be working on Roku development instead of Android. At the time, I didn’t think much of it, mostly because I had no idea what Roku was. I even assumed it was Android based.

Small and obvious tip: never assume anything without doing your research!

Unlike Android, Roku devices run on Roku OS, which has its own proprietary language, BrightScript, and uses SceneGraph as a framework for building channels (applications). This was a steep learning curve I hadn’t anticipated.

The Day!

Three months into the job, I was preparing for my performance review, the one that would determine whether I’d be offered a permanent position. While I loved working with my team and was eager to learn, imposter syndrome had plagued me for months. I constantly questioned whether I was meeting expectations.

Uros, the team enjoys working with you. However, you’re really not a good software engineer, and I don’t know if we’ll be offering you a permanent contract at this time.

...the world came crashing down. I felt my "fight or flight" response kicking in, but I managed to stay composed, accept the news, and walk out of the office.

A few days later, my manager approached me again with an update:

We’ve decided to offer you a permanent contract, but without the salary increase we had initially discussed. I’ll also send you some materials and books to help you out.

Fair, I thought to myself, and jumped into whatever he had planned for me.

Internal Struggle

Weeks passed, but the feedback continued to bother me. The idea of being a “bad software engineer” lingered in my mind. Before long, I realized that I strongly disagreed with the assessment. But to be sure, I needed to determine whether the original performance review was truly accurate.

After some thinking, I devised a plan to get an "unbiased" evaluation of my skills. In short, the main idea was to seek the feedback from people who:

1. Had no personal relationship with me

2. Had no incentive to underestimate my abilities

The Plan

The best way to achieve the above, or at least the best way I could think of - was to participate in as many hackathons as possible and apply to as many jobs as I could! A real world scenarios where my skills would be tested with as little bias as possible.
This would help me move beyond handling the problem purely on an internal level!

Of course, this plan carried a risk: If my manager’s assessment was confirmed, I’d have to confront the possibility that a career in software engineering wasn’t for me. It may sound a bit dramatic from this perspective, but this is exactly how imposter syndrome works.

The Result

I’ll keep this brief: things turned out better than I could have imagined. Here are some key highlights:

1. I participated in the MIT Health Tech Hackathon in Belgrade, where our team was one of the top three winners.

2. With the same idea, we competed in Belgrade and Berlin Startup Connect, winning first place.

3. Most importantly, I received a job offer for a Medior Roku Developer position shortly after I started applying for interviews.

4. After several months at the new company, I made significant contributions to multiple projects, which led to an offer for a team lead position.

…and with that, finally, the feeling of being an imposter started to fade away!

The Conclusion

This experience reshaped my understanding of both positive and negative feedback. I realized the importance of creating an environment where employees feel safe to challenge feedback without fear of repercussions.

It also gave me the confidence to not just “trust my gut,” but to take action when I felt I had the necessary context despite the self-doubt lingering in the back of my mind.

While imposter syndrome can sometimes push individuals toward growth, it can also take a significant toll on mental health. As managers, we have a responsibility to minimize feelings of inadequacy by providing clear, honest, and frequent feedback, the kind that empowers rather than discourages.
I know, it’s not a groundbreaking revelation, but it’s one that’s always worth repeating!