I'm a single mom, so becoming an empty nester was painful. I couldn't focus all my energy on my kids anymore.

• When my sons went to college, I became an empty nester.
• Since I was a single mother, I was left all alone in a silent house.
• I confronted the grief I buried after my parents died since I no longer had to care for my kids.

As I drove away from my son's college dorm last summer, tears rolled down my cheeks. I did not care about the mascara smeared on my eyelids.

A few minutes later, I called my son to check how he was doing. He giggled and said, "Mom, I'm OK."

As a single mother, I was not. I was missing his sweet voice. I held onto our last moments at home together and let all my emotions out. I cried like a baby.

My two sons were now out of the house and studying at the University of Tennessee. It was bittersweet to let them go. I was happy for their accomplishments and that they had a new road ahead of them, but I did not know what my road would be.

I was also now an empty nester — and I had to learn to be OK with that.

I struggled with the silence in my empty nest

I was afraid of silence in my house. I would walk through the rooms and realize my kids were gone. I grieved in the silence, turning the music on my phone so I did not feel alone.

Often, I found myself asleep on the sofa with the TV in the background.

I tried to fill my void with work and friends, but I still had to return home to that quiet, empty house.

Being a single empty nester mom is not for the weak. I had to focus on becoming the best version of myself — and allow moments of grief when they hit me.

The feeling of loneliness was familiar

As I sat with my loneliness and explored my identity crisis, I realized these feelings were not new. I felt them when my parents died and never fully processed those emotions.

I wanted to be strong for my kids and myself. I held my grief in for a long time so that I could care for my sons. But when they left for college, I realized I had stored the pain of my parents' loss. My kids were almost like a shield protecting me from that pain.

Once they left, I had to face the grief. When I was alone, grief came like a wave. I suddenly remembered my mom's words. She was the woman who taught me English.

Becoming an empty nester helped me own my feelings and rebuild my identity after losing my parents.

I've learned to enjoy the freedom of being me

To further work through my emotions, I decided to allow new experiences in my life. I traveled and connected with new and old friends. I started to write again. I focused on daily self-care — like evening walks, meditation, journaling, and working on my mindset.

I was removing the layers of my soul and digging deep to discover who I was and what I was hiding from everyone. I was returning to the original me. For the first time, I was deciding what was best for me — not just my children.

I learned that as you let go of your children, your happiness is up to you, and you can create anything. That is a part of grieving and healing.

I have gained the freedom to fly and explore new possibilities. I am still discovering what makes me happy, and I refuse to rush the process.