Are We Dating the Same Guy? Facebook group lawsuit dismissed

An Illinois federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit against the "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" Chicago Facebook group and dozens of people.

Private Facebook groups like "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" aim to help (typically heterosexual) women avoid men who exhibit bad behavior like lying or ghosting. In some cases, multiple women in the group are dating the same man they met on dating apps — hence the group name. In one story Mashable reported on in 2023, a woman discovered her husband seeing other women across the U.S.

Last year, Chicago man Nikko D'Ambrosio sued Meta as well as women who dated him and their parents, women who commented on posts about him in the Facebook group, and moderators for the group, for defamation, invasion of privacy, doxxing, and more. On Tuesday, U.S. District Judge Sunil R. Harjani tossed the complaint.

Harjani wrote that D'Ambrosio failed to allege any false statements, and none of the statements included would fit the per se defamation category (that the women's words were inherently damaging). Additionally, he also failed to allege that his photo was used for commercial purposes, which was required under his claim that the group violated the Illinois Right of Publicity Act.

Defendants Spill The Tea, Inc. (the owner and operator of the Facebook group) also explained that even if the women's statements were defamatory, they weren't actionable as opinions.

D'Ambrosio had a couple of opportunities to address these issues, but Harjani wrote that he didn't.

The Court also reviewed the statements D'Ambrosio provided about his actions while dating in Chicago, and found they weren't defamatory.

"While evident from his complaint that D'Ambrosio objects to the idea that women in Chicago, and nationally, have a private invite-only forum in which they are able to discuss and potentially warn other women against men's dating habits and that he personally detested being discussed in that group, the statements made about him do not amount to defamation, false light invasion of privacy, or [doxxing]," Harjani wrote.

"The comments about D'Ambrosio in 'Are We Dating the Same Guy?' were subjective opinions, which even if D'Ambrosio dislikes, cannot amount to defamation."