The importance of teacher-student relationships
Middle school marks the transition from late childhood to early adolescence. Developmental psychologist Erik Erikson describes the transition as a shift from the Industry vs. Inferiority stage into the Identity vs. Role Confusion stage.
Key points:
- Caring connections can support and uplift students
- 3 critical areas necessary to boost student motivation
- 5 restorative practices that help teachers create connections
- For more on teacher-student relationships, visit eSN’s SEL & Well-Being hub
Middle school marks the transition from late childhood to early adolescence. Developmental psychologist Erik Erikson describes the transition as a shift from the Industry vs. Inferiority stage (ages 6-12) into the Identity vs. Role Confusion stage (ages 12-18). Sixth graders in particular go between these two stages. They are developing a sense of competence and confidence in their abilities (industry), but they are also beginning to explore their identities and thus testing boundaries and navigating peer pressure.
This dual struggle often makes middle school a time of heightened self-consciousness, social comparison, and emotional fluctuation. Although, students who feel supported and valued in the classroom are more likely to develop a sense of competence and self-worth, but those who struggle may develop feelings of inferiority or uncertainty about their place in the world. This highlights the importance of strong teacher-student relationships to help students build confidence, resilience, and a positive self-identity. Prioritizing relationship-building in the classroom can yield profound improvements in student engagement and behavior.
Middle school students frequently grapple with self-esteem and social anxiety. Therefore, it is essential to create a classroom environment where they feel safe and supported. Consistency from the very onset of the school year helps develop trust when students can rely on teachers to be fair, respectful, and genuinely invested and devoted to their well-being. Integrating social-emotional learning (SEL) into daily routines reinforces a supportive atmosphere where students feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment. Recognizing students as individuals fosters a sense of belonging and can be impactful (i.e., greeting students by names with a high-five or hug while they walk into your class or in the hallway, acknowledging birthdays, attending and hearing about their extracurricular activities, etc. When a student sees that their teacher remembers personal details, that develops a stronger connection to the classroom environment. In the words of Former President Theodore Roosevelt, “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
Students at the early stages of most psychological hierarchies thrive on positive reinforcement. Discipline, consistency, and structure are paramount, but recognizing strengths and celebrating successes fosters a more productive learning environment. Recognizing and acknowledging growth (both academically and behaviorally) can serve as a powerful motivator; students develop a greater sense of accountability and motivation to grow when their successes are reinforced in a positive manner.
In addition to the confines of the classroom, teachers inevitably serve as mentors for their students both directly and indirectly. Mentorship programs, small-group discussions, field trips, extracurriculars, and one-to-one check-ins (regardless of the length) can provide guidance and experiences that extend beyond academics. Furthermore, consistent communication with families reinforces the necessary connection between home and school, but the contact cannot be solely be about negative behaviors. At the start of the school year, students are usually well behaved and the content tends to be relatively easier. Capitalizing on this and informing families of the positives that are overwhelmingly present at the beginning of the school year will help families view the teacher in a positive light and help them trust the teacher. It also will send an implicit message to the students that parent contact occurs when they engage in positive behaviors or exhibit strong academic performance.
The long-term effects of prioritizing teacher-student relationships will not only exist during the school year, but for years to come when students reflect on their educational experiences. In the words of Maya Angelou, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Ultimately, when students know that their teachers genuinely care about them both academically and personally, they develop a stronger sense of motivation and resilience. Teaching is not simply delivering content, but is about fostering connections that inspire, support, and uplift students. In sum, a strong teacher-student relationship is both beneficial and essential.
