People who don’t ask me questions drive me crazy. Why are they like that?
‘Non-askers’ can come across as selfish – but there might be personal and societal reasons for their lack of curiosityA few months ago, I was at a bar and hoped I might be making a new friend. We were sitting next to each other in a booth with a bunch of people. In response to my questions she told me interesting anecdotes about growing up, her job, her husband. After she’d been talking for about 20 minutes, I began to get an unpleasant, familiar feeling: I bet if I stop asking her questions, she won’t ask me any.Sure enough, she wrapped up one answer, then looked at me expectantly, like a dog waiting for a treat. Oh hell no, I thought. No way. I turned to the person next to me, a friend. “She’s a non-asker,” I said. “I’m done.” Continue reading...
‘Non-askers’ can come across as selfish – but there might be personal and societal reasons for their lack of curiosity
A few months ago, I was at a bar and hoped I might be making a new friend. We were sitting next to each other in a booth with a bunch of people. In response to my questions she told me interesting anecdotes about growing up, her job, her husband. After she’d been talking for about 20 minutes, I began to get an unpleasant, familiar feeling: I bet if I stop asking her questions, she won’t ask me any.
Sure enough, she wrapped up one answer, then looked at me expectantly, like a dog waiting for a treat. Oh hell no, I thought. No way. I turned to the person next to me, a friend. “She’s a non-asker,” I said. “I’m done.” Continue reading...
