Confused About Signals with a Girl [closed]
Context I am a college undergraduate in a school in New York. I have never dated anyone before and I am sort of an introverted person, however I do put myself out there and socialize. I get scared to get into relationships with people since my parents had a nasty divorce, so I tend to overthink people's behavior a lot and so I need advice on a matter which I cannot settle by myself. I met this girl in my class recently, we were in similar classes before because we are in the same major, but we didn't really speak until this semester when a group discussion happened where we all had to introduce ourselves. I liked her vibe and I thought she was interesting so for valentines day, I decided to leave anonymous chocolate on her desk (with a note with her name and a smiling face on it). I did not want to be romantically involved with her at first, so I was just feeling out the situation and I intended it to be a nice friendly gesture as I know a lot of people don't get anything for valentines. I knew there was a risk that she might consider this creepy or too forward which is part of the reason I did not want her to know it was from me specifically. However, she did suspect it was from me and asked me indirectly about it, I didn't tell her but I said that it was intended for her clearly since it had her name on it, she seemed genuinely flattered and happy by it so I took this as a good sign. A few days later I approached her after class and started a conversation, and tried to introduce myself and get to know her and see if we had anything in common, the conversation was pleasant and she seemed to be friendly, I considered telling her about the chocolate but I thought that it might be better if I just leave it unaddressed since it might make things awkward. I was excited to talk to her again because I was starting to like her, but as this was a random conversation which I started on my part, so I decided to back off a little bit until I got a more definite signal from her that she felt the same way. This is where it gets weird, later in the week as I was walking to my dorm, we ran into each other, because apparently we live in the same building, the moment she saw me, she turned around and walked in a different direction making it seem like she was going to a different place. She thought I didn't notice, but I did, and obviously, this came as a shock to me since I thought she liked me, and I was confused by her behavior. I did not know if she was just shy and wanted to avoid the awkward situation or that she was offput by everything that I did so far and considered me a creep. I decided to accept the safer interpretation so, I swore never to speak with her again and the next week, I moved my seat away from her (I used to sit behind her) and avoided her entirely, and though I was very disappointed, I thought that this was the best way to proceed, since obviously I could not continue things the way they were. But later on I felt like it might have been stupid on my part and maybe I was just overthinking things and she was just shy so I felt bad about ignoring her, so I decided to go back to my seat. Though I did not speak with her. It seemed like things were normal again and I decided to leave a small stuffed animal on her desk (from a studio Ghibli movie that I like) on the day of her presentation, which she liked. This time I told her it was from me directly and apologized if I creeped her out, and it felt like by doing so, I cleared up the air a little bit, also about who left her the chocolate since now she knew it was me who was leaving the gifts. This was also the first time she initiated a conversation with me, which I thought was a good sign. It felt like she was starting to trust me a little bit. However, we did not speak again after that, since one: it felt like things were nice and platonic and I was happy to leave it at that, and also since I was too emotionally drained to start another conversation with her. So here is my question. I feel like I am overextending myself here because it feels like for the amount of attention and signals that I have been giving this girl, I basically have received nothing in return. She basically ignores me all of the time, and I don't know if this is shyness on her part (she is a year below me) or just that she is creeped out by me, or that I am not being more outgoing about my interest in her. Partly I feel like I should try to find a way to be more forward, probably just try to find some common interest, but there really is not much we have in common other than we are taking this one course and that we are in the same degree. We have been on spring break for a while now, so this is a good chance to distance myself. A lot of the stuff that I did seems plain creepy to me and I don't think this is the right way to start a relationship with anyone to begin with. I would like some advice on how I should proceed. Should I try to just talk to her more? Am I being too careful?
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Context
I am a college undergraduate in a school in New York. I have never dated anyone before and I am sort of an introverted person, however I do put myself out there and socialize. I get scared to get into relationships with people since my parents had a nasty divorce, so I tend to overthink people's behavior a lot and so I need advice on a matter which I cannot settle by myself.
I met this girl in my class recently, we were in similar classes before because we are in the same major, but we didn't really speak until this semester when a group discussion happened where we all had to introduce ourselves. I liked her vibe and I thought she was interesting so for valentines day, I decided to leave anonymous chocolate on her desk (with a note with her name and a smiling face on it). I did not want to be romantically involved with her at first, so I was just feeling out the situation and I intended it to be a nice friendly gesture as I know a lot of people don't get anything for valentines. I knew there was a risk that she might consider this creepy or too forward which is part of the reason I did not want her to know it was from me specifically.
However, she did suspect it was from me and asked me indirectly about it, I didn't tell her but I said that it was intended for her clearly since it had her name on it, she seemed genuinely flattered and happy by it so I took this as a good sign. A few days later I approached her after class and started a conversation, and tried to introduce myself and get to know her and see if we had anything in common, the conversation was pleasant and she seemed to be friendly, I considered telling her about the chocolate but I thought that it might be better if I just leave it unaddressed since it might make things awkward. I was excited to talk to her again because I was starting to like her, but as this was a random conversation which I started on my part, so I decided to back off a little bit until I got a more definite signal from her that she felt the same way.
This is where it gets weird, later in the week as I was walking to my dorm, we ran into each other, because apparently we live in the same building, the moment she saw me, she turned around and walked in a different direction making it seem like she was going to a different place. She thought I didn't notice, but I did, and obviously, this came as a shock to me since I thought she liked me, and I was confused by her behavior. I did not know if she was just shy and wanted to avoid the awkward situation or that she was offput by everything that I did so far and considered me a creep. I decided to accept the safer interpretation so, I swore never to speak with her again and the next week, I moved my seat away from her (I used to sit behind her) and avoided her entirely, and though I was very disappointed, I thought that this was the best way to proceed, since obviously I could not continue things the way they were.
But later on I felt like it might have been stupid on my part and maybe I was just overthinking things and she was just shy so I felt bad about ignoring her, so I decided to go back to my seat. Though I did not speak with her. It seemed like things were normal again and I decided to leave a small stuffed animal on her desk (from a studio Ghibli movie that I like) on the day of her presentation, which she liked. This time I told her it was from me directly and apologized if I creeped her out, and it felt like by doing so, I cleared up the air a little bit, also about who left her the chocolate since now she knew it was me who was leaving the gifts. This was also the first time she initiated a conversation with me, which I thought was a good sign. It felt like she was starting to trust me a little bit. However, we did not speak again after that, since one: it felt like things were nice and platonic and I was happy to leave it at that, and also since I was too emotionally drained to start another conversation with her.
So here is my question. I feel like I am overextending myself here because it feels like for the amount of attention and signals that I have been giving this girl, I basically have received nothing in return. She basically ignores me all of the time, and I don't know if this is shyness on her part (she is a year below me) or just that she is creeped out by me, or that I am not being more outgoing about my interest in her. Partly I feel like I should try to find a way to be more forward, probably just try to find some common interest, but there really is not much we have in common other than we are taking this one course and that we are in the same degree. We have been on spring break for a while now, so this is a good chance to distance myself. A lot of the stuff that I did seems plain creepy to me and I don't think this is the right way to start a relationship with anyone to begin with.
I would like some advice on how I should proceed. Should I try to just talk to her more? Am I being too careful? I think that there is a possibility that she is interested in me and that she is just very shy. But I also don't think that I have gotten any good evidence to this other than her blushing or occasionally throwing me glances, this really is not much to go on, and I really don't have enough emotional energy to try to "swoop" her away or something like that. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!